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| Me from my 3 year old's perspective! |
"I wish you would joke around more."
His words were not meant to be hurtful. But they were a confirmation of something my heart did not want to believe. I was not good enough.
I begged for him to see me- to really LOOK at me. Not that I used my words to do this. Instead, I tried to be who he wanted me to be.
But I wasn't. I was never meant to be different than I am.
And although it was a hard lesson to learn, I am so thankful that I did. Because I learned that my funny and my serious are a perfect mix for the family that my Father has given to me.
When my kids look at me, they never ask me to joke around more. They love my humor.
They take the time to really look at me, just as my Father does.
Can I admit something? This time next week, I will be at the Allume Conference with 400 other wonderful women who are committed to serving God through their writing. And I can't wait!
But at the same time, I'm scared. Because those "not good enough" thoughts still follow me. What if they look at me and discover that I am not who they want me to be? What if they wish that I was witty? Or cute? Or that I would joke around more?
I pray that others would take the time to really look at me. To see who God has made me to be- a mix of serious and funny- just right in His eyes.
And I guarantee that I will be looking at you in the same way and celebrating who God has made YOU to be!
amen! I love the way God has made us all a perfect mix! ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt just happens that you were the blog before me on LisaJo!! I am glad!! Lovely post and I think your perfect the way you are!! I can only imagine that in real life you to be even better than online!! Have a fun trip:)
ReplyDeleteI love that you were before me, Traci and that you were after me, Jennifer!!! What a fun way to do five minute Friday!!!! Love you girls!
ReplyDeleteAmen, amen.
ReplyDeleteI don't think most people have any idea what a pure joy you are to be around- but they will! I won't want to share our time, but I want everyone to know you! I have one special introduction I want to personally make. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy! Your friendship means a great deal to me!!
DeleteYes, I share that same struggle!! I wish I could be there to hang out with you face to face!!
ReplyDeleteME TOO!!! You are on my must meet list someday. :)
DeleteBeautiful post, Becky. I wrote a blog post this week about relationships with other women and the feeling of risk and vulnerability involved. You summed it up simply, to be seen and accepted as is, it's a beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to checking out your post, Elizabeth. "To be seen and accepted as is"- perfectly stated and you are right. It is a beautiful thing!
DeleteWhat a lovely post Becky! I'm sure all will be well at Allume! I so wish I was going...maybe next year!
ReplyDeleteJust be you and others will be drawn to that, and if they aren't HE is - and THAT is what really matters anyway!
Blessings~
Mom Look...
Ah, love that reminder, Lori- that when I am me, HE is drawn to that. Such a sweet thought- and one that changes everything!
DeleteWish you were going too, but I think we will have to do a WNY meet up at some point in the coming year. Would love to meet you!
Oh, how I know those "not good enough thoughts"! (Have you read Katharine Barrett's FMF post: http://www.katharinesthoughts.net/2012/10/i-will-look-for-you.html ?) Anyway, I can't wait to banish all of those not good enoughs when I meet ya on Thursday:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing it, Mandy- it was lovely!!!
DeleteYou make my heart happy, do you know this?! Can't wait to meet you in person!
Oh Becky! I cannot wait to meet you my friend and hug you in real life. You are more than good enough, an amazing daughter of the King! What a wonderful time we are going to have, thanking Him for bringing us all together next week!
ReplyDeleteAw, you are an absolute sweetie, of course you will be "enough"! At the same time, "not enough" has followed me around since I was 8 years old, and I know that insecurity very very well. I'll be praying for you... You just be your awesome sweet self and you'll be fine! :)
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