It’s a question that has been thrown around a lot lately. What side are you on? When this line of picking sides is drawn in the sand it separates people so fully. Anger and mistrust lie on both sides resulting in attacks and behavior that is demeaning.
These lines are drawn over so many issues- racism, same sex marriage, political affiliation, socio-economic status, even denominations- and while I think discussions and challenges on these issues are good and can be effective, too often these discussions result in further divisions and deeper chasms.
When Jesus drew lines in the sand, it was to challenge the crowd to consider this- “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” ~John 8:7 (speaking of the woman caught in adultery).
The beauty of Jesus’s approach is that one by one the crowd disperesed without one stone being thrown. Some will say that the message of Jesus here is that no one should judge another unless they are without sin. And this is true. When we truly understand that ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23), we are able to move from judging others in their sin to recognizing the grace that we have received in Christ when we have accepted his gift of salvation.
I believe that one of the reasons we are so quick to judge another’s sin is that we don’t truly understand the meaning of sin. We categorize sin- my pride and my greed are not nearly as deplorable as your theft and murder- but we need to understand that God does not categorize sin. In God’s eyes, sin is rebellion against Himself. It is anything that puts our own way first. It is intentionally OR unintentionally removing God from the throne of our lives and putting anything else in that place.
We judge someone else’s sin until we realize that if we are honest with ourselves, we are simply sinners saved by grace. If my sins were dragged out into a public square, the situation would be just as dire as the woman caught in adultery.
But the message of Jesus here is not simply to not judge others in their sin. Jesus goes on to say one of the most profound statements in scripture- “Women, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord”.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and from now on sin no more.”
This statement is so beautiful to me, because the truth is Jesus COULD have condemned her. He was without sin. He was free to judge. But he could see her heart and he knew the repentance that was inside of her. And then he told her to go and sin no more.
Jesus could say these things because He was fully God. Too often as Christians, we can begin to think too highly of ourselves. We puff ourselves up with knowledge and we can debate and argue with the best of them. We hide behind standing up for truth and we forget that WE ARE NOT GOD. We cannot see into someone’s heart and we cannot change their heart. But Jesus can.
And so, I am drawing a new line in the sand, a new side, because I believe that Jesus came and sacrificed his life to save us from our sins, NOT so that we would yell at each other from our own soap boxes. That is the side that I want to be on.
I believe in a BIG God, One who is capable of changing any heart where it needs to be changed. I believe that He loves even the worst of sinners, but he loves them too much to leave them in their sin. He WILL change any heart that humbly comes to him, seeking to be changed by Him.
By the way, we all need this change in our lives. Until we die, we should be seeking Christ to change us, to make us more like Himself.
Because I believe in a big God, I am convinced that my role in life is to point others to Him. I do not know a single person who has been shamed into a change of heart, but I know plenty who have discovered the love of God that brings peace, hope and joy beyond human explanation.
I can’t condemn anyone, because I am a sinner. But I believe in a God who doesn’t know any sinner He can’t change. And so my feet are firmly planted on His side and my prayer is that I would faithfully point others to Him.
The hardest part of writing letters to you is the knowledge that you will not read my words and there will be no response. I miss you every day, but some days are particularly difficult. Yesterday, Father’s Day, was one of those days.
And yet, there is joy in the midst of the mourning. Joy, because your beautiful legacy lives on. Every time I talk to your grandkids about Jesus, you are present. Every time I sing a song of praise to God, I can hear you singing and I imagine my voice harmonizing with yours. Whenever I pour cereal from a commemorative box, I think of you. When I drink coffee, read my Bible, get excited over a passage of scripture, I think of you. And when my husband preaches, I hear your heart.
What a gift your life has been and continues to be to me. I am the richest of girls, blessed beyond measure, because of your humble faithfulness to the Word of God, because of your unending love for Jesus, and because of the way you loved your 3 girls and your devoted wife.
The kids and I put together a Father’s Day centerpiece for their Daddy, but it made me smile, because it was for you too. The books were yours (although I discovered this morning that the Bible was mom’s!) and my husband likes coffee just as much as you do (although I think he might like it even a little more!). The Sharpie was from Ethan who added it because our love for his Daddy is permanent. This sentiment is truly brilliant. It’s how I feel about you, Daddy. Even though I can no longer call you up and hear your voice, even though I don’t get to see you and kiss your cheek when I visit Kansas this summer, even though we will never again walk the hills in Pitman together, my love for you has no end.
There is no last in loving you.
And so, I find joy in the midst of mourning. I grieve, but oh, there is hope in my grieving! We sang “Revelation Song” as we ended our service yesterday and every time, I imagine singing by your side in the new heavens and the new earth…
Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
Who was and is and is to come.
With all creation I sing, Praise to the King of Kings,
You are my everything and I will adore You.
I can’t wait for that day, Daddy! But until then, I want to live well and honor your beautiful life. I read this verse the other day and I have shared it with many people, but every time I do, I am reminded that I want to share it with you.
For before he (Enoch) was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. ~ Hebrews 11:5
Daddy- thank you for living your life as one who pleased God. Thank you for seeking His glory in all things. When I am tempted to seek my own glory, your example flashes before me. And you know something else I have come to realize? I chose my husband well, because you led your life well. He had to be a man who loved God, who studied the scriptures, who sought wisdom and humility. He had to be. He’s not quite as goofy as you were Daddy and he doesn’t make up as many silly songs for our kids. However, he does play video games with the kids and he pretty much knows how to figure out everything which makes him infinitely cooler than their Mommy (and this is the part where I wish we were having this conversation in person, so you could see the twinkle in my eye and the smile on my face, because I absolutely love that your grandkids adore their Daddy).
Ah, Daddy! I love you so very much. Thank you for being you. I miss you so much that I ache. But I wouldn’t want it any other way, because that simply means that I pretty much had the best Daddy in the world.
Happy Father’s Day.
Your girl, forever and always,
My girls are a decade apart in age, but they have a sweet little bond. As I watched my girls playing with their Christmas gifts (Snow Whites Cottage and Ever After High dolls), it hit me that it would be fun to do a combined birthday party for my girls this year- my girls who were born a decade and a week apart. And so we did!
My nearly 12 year old wanted to make her own creative invitations and we ordered adorable invitations for Ainsley from Green Melon Studios. While Lindsay loves everything about Ever After High (which began with a love for the books written by her favorite author!), we decided to focus on Apple White, the daughter of Snow White.
I baked apple pies for both girls with their names made out of dough, just like Snow White made a pie for Grumpy in the Disney animated movie. The Snow White portion of the party was all about blues, yellows and reds. The Apple White portion of the party was red and gold.
Ainsley received a Snow White doll and dress before the party started and Lindsay received a dozen roses (appropriate for a girl turning 12, don’t you think?!) as well as the opportunity to pick out her own Apple White outfit with accessories.
Ainsley’s friends began to arrive for her party dressed as their favorite princess. They played in Ainsley’s cottage, with dolls and toys and spent some time coloring (Ainsley’s favorite activity). Then it was time for cake. I made Snow White colored bibs for all the girls and some of them liked them and others (including the birthday girl!) wanted nothing to do with them. But they were very cute! The girls had apple juice with their bananas, strawberries and blueberries (yellow, red and blue) and then we sang to Ainsley and let her blow out candles. I had fun making her Snow White dress pull apart cupcakes.
After cake, the birthday girl opened presents and then she was given a sweet surprise. Anna and Elsa showed up! Ainsley enjoyed getting her picture taken with them, but one of her friends who is a little bit older LOVED them and kept asking questions like “Where’s Olaf?” and “Was it really cold?” So fun!
Lindsay’s friends started arriving just before Anna and Elsa came. I posted a schedule for the party on a bulletin board with pictures of Lindsay and her friends at different events through the years. The first item on the schedule was watching Ever After High Episodes in “Throneroom” (homeroom). Next was an apple nacho bar in the “Castleteria” and after that was games in the “Grimmnasium”. They played a game that involved passing a princess wand around a circle using their knees only. Their laughter was the very best. They also played the game “Truth or Lie” in honor of Cedar Wood, Pinnochio’s daughter who is unable to lie.
After games, the girls had a chance to sign “The Storybook of Legends”. In the Ever After High stories, the children of fairy tale characters have to sign the Legends book agreeing to carrying out their parent’s destiny. The girls were hoping for some not so great destinies, but I wrote only good, kind, inspiring destinies for all of the girls. They had to each come to the book and pull out their own destiny and sign it. This was one of my favorite parts of the party!
After destinies were signed, it was time for dinner and cake. I had planned to make super cute apple cupcakes, but I ran out of time. Instead, we made cupcakes with little apple molds on them and then put them in the shape of a 12.
After cake, it was time to open gifts. There were many Ever After High dolls, creative art projects, books and other fabulous gifts. The birthday girl was thrilled!
Both of my girls enjoyed their parties and I enjoyed planning and executing them. As friends left, the girls gave them goody bags filled with bubbles and applesauce or charm necklaces and Ever After High cootie catchers depending on their age.
While combined parties with such diverse ages and different themes might seem like a crazy decision, it worked splendidly. This is partially due to the fact that my girls adore each other. I am so grateful for this.
Happy birthday, my sweet girls!
The end is just the beginning.
I’ve noticed something strange happening lately in the Body of Christ. I call it the Pinterest Phenomenon, but if you aren’t familiar with Pinterest this probably means nothing to you.
Pinterest is an online resource for the purpose of collecting ideas and inspiration all in one place. It is completely visual as only pictures are pinable. The categories are limitless and are at the whim of the pinner meaning if you want to pin pictures of walruses or stamp collecting or whatever, you are free to do so.
There seem to be two general responses to Pinterest- you either love it or you hate it. For the creatives, Pinterest is a delightful playground. It is beautiful, it is inspiring and it is organized without much effort on the part of the pinner. But there is another camp that abhors Pinterest. In this category are those who see this social media hub as a cesspool for comparison and inadequacy. Since people generally present their best selves on Pinterest, it can foster this belief that everyone else is perfect and brilliant meanwhile I am never quite good enough.
To be honest with you, I have been on both sides of this in the 4 years or so that I have been using Pinterest. I call it the Celebrate vs. Comparison decision, but the side that I firmly fall on now is Celebrate! There will always be people who are more brilliant, more creative, more inspiring than me. Truth is, I want there to be! It’s hard to be inspired if you’re always the best at everything. When you discover that you can celebrate those who have different gifts and abilities, it allows you to be who you have been made to be. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you stop allowing your opinion of yourself to be affected or determined by how you think others perceive you. It is a beautiful thing!
If you are thinking I got that, but how has this affected the Church?, then stick with me. What I have noticed lately is that there seems to be this idea that there is one way to live out God’s purposes and plan in this world or at least there is the best way. This is resulting in a whole lot of comparison and the results are disturbing to me. I see people walking away from the Church, because they don’t see themselves measuring up.
In our attempts to serve or to be loyal to our own local church, we don’t see that we are alienating those who have been called to serve in a different way. It’s like we have forgotten that we serve a diverse God who has created us all different so that when we serve Him in unity out of our diversity, He receives the greatest glory.
Some are called to go to a foreign country. Some have been asked to give up security and serve in poverty stricken areas. Others have been called to use their intelligence and abilities to make a difference in the world. In some, God has placed a strong will that must fight for justice and equality. In others, He has placed a heart of compassion that is able to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. He has gifted some with the ability to clearly communicate and interpret His Word. Others have the ability to sing like an angel. There are those who love to clean, those who love to organize, those who long to dig in the dirt, those who want to read and study. We have people who find great delight in teaching little ones and others who actually enjoy lock ins with the youth. There are servants who know how to welcome others, others who have a ministry of sending cards, little children who are fantastic at carrying umbrellas on a rainy Sunday morning and servants who stand in the hard places, comforting family members as they face great loss.
As I contemplate all of the different areas of service available in the Body of Christ (and there are so many more!), I can’t help but feel excited. There is room for every single person, every unique gift, every calling. And the beauty of God is that He considers each one of utmost importance. There is no ranking in His economy. There is only faithfulness.
So, Body of Christ, we need to stop with the comparison game. We need to stop ranking gifts and service. We need to celebrate the unique giftings that God has blessed His body with and stop trying to prove our own worth. It is crucial that we understand that in our attempts to validate our own service, we can easily diminish the calling that God has given to others. This must not be! Rather, our attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus…
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~Philippians 2:1-4
In this Pinterest and social media saturated world, it is easy to fall into the comparison trap without even realizing it. We can so easily move from a God given drive to selfish ambition that this requires a great deal of prayer and a whole lot of wisdom. Let’s pray for humility so that we may be able to celebrate others more and compare less!